Continuing in my series of low quality movie reviews, I just finished watching ‘Phil the Alien‘.
Apparently set in Canada, this is a movie about Phil (the alien) landing on Earth, getting introduced to hard liquor, talking beavers, and Jesus, before going bezerk and deciding it is time to go home.
Yeah, really. Trust me, it sure sounded better in the Netflix description.
Amanda was pretty confused throughout the movie, but luckily she was ‘shopping for makeup‘ and too busy to get angry with it.
So, the movie starts out with some guy in an ear flap hat telling his son that sometimes a man needs to be alone, so the son leaves and heads out into the woods, with a bottle of Wild Turkey and a BB gun. While wandering around, a spacecraft crash lands nearby, and the boy discovers a huge monster standing near the ship. Suddenly, the monster morphs into… Phil. He soon introduces Phil to whisky, and as it turns out, Phil has a very addictive personality.
Phil ends up spending a lot of time at the bar with his new buddies, and sleeping down by the river in a beaver den with his buddy the talking beaver. Seriously. After a few nights at the bar, Phil develops a hankering for some cigarettes and ends up smashing up a cigarette machine, and the bar owner calls the cops. Phil goes to prison (for 3 days) where he finds… Jesus.
In the meantime, a secret government agency (whose government?) that is headquartered under Niagara Falls determines that an alien has crash landed, and sends out their crack alien tracker to bring in the alien. Which he completely fails to do.
We swap stories briefly to a second alien trying to pick up a blue haired chick at a restaurant. She goes along with it for a few minutes, and then blows the guy away. Apparently, she is the ‘good’ alien hunter.
So, Phil returns from the slammer, and using his alien abilities, begins a Christian rock band to spread the word of Jesus. He garners a large following, and then demands that they all go to Niagara Falls.
By now, the goverment agency has gathered up the blue haired chick (who likes wigs) and they know about the Jesus thing, but decide to take out Phil anyway. Phil mostly escapes, but at the last minute, the talking beaver turns on him for using his alien powers to spread the word and Phil is captured.
The government wants to autopsy him (he isn’t dead yet), but before they are able to, they get a weather report, and determine a thunderstorm is coming. Phil freaks out and kills most of them, including… the talking beaver. He releases the alien hunters (who had turned on the government agency and were being held for treason), and then before a large teary crowd of his followers, gets back into his ship and leaves.
If you read this far, you have an idea of what happened to the hour and a half of my life I will never have back. Yikes. I had high hopes for this film, or at least that it would be better than Beer Drinkers in Space, but it didn’t really materialize. It wasn’t a bad watch if you want something random, but if you were looking for a plot or deep characters, forget it. I gave it 2 stars on Netflix.
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